When Squirrels Attack

Sign's for Your Yard, Get 'em While There Still Here!

2006-11-20T13:26:00.000-06:00

This is for the few that have brain washed the squirrels to be on their side. Hard to do I might add.

And this is for the rest of us.

Is it a cat? Is it a dog? NO! Its a Squirrel!!!!

2006-11-07T22:35:00.000-06:00

Barb Dougherty, a 30-year Postal Service employee, said she was attacked and bitten Monday by a squirrel while delivering mail in Oil City, about 75 miles north of Pittsburgh.

“It was a freak thing. It was traumatic,” Dougherty told The Derrick newspaper. “I saw it there on the porch, put the mail in the box and turned to walk away and it jumped on me.”
She said the animal ran up her leg and onto her back. “I eventually got a hold of the tail and pulled it off me,” Dougherty said. “No one was home at the house where I was delivering the mail, but the neighbor lady heard me screaming and came over.”

An ambulance took Dougherty to a hospital, where she was treated for cuts and scratches.

The squirrel was killed with a BB gun and sent to a lab to be tested for rabies. Dougherty was given the first series of rabies shots as a precaution.

Postal officials said the attack is extraordinary. “In about 230 years of postal history, I bet it is not the first, but I’ve personally never heard of another squirrel biting,” said Steve Kochersperger, spokesman for the Erie district.

Don't that just say it all?

2006-10-06T14:21:00.000-05:00

Squirrel Attacks Child

2006-09-25T22:17:00.000-05:00

After squirrels attack children at a California park, some officials want to euthanize the brazen rodents.

"Park authorities recently changed the garbage can lids in the park and that made it harder for squirrels to get at food.
Since then, there have been reports of squirrels jumping into strollers and scratching and biting people.
But now, officials say euthenizing the squirrels may be an option.*Yey!*"

"Wildlife advocates also oppose the unusual measure of killing the animals and said it won't solve the problem.
"The squirrels will be back," South Bay wildlife rehabilitator Norma Campbell said. "For every one you take out, two more will come in. ..."

People of California, lock and load next time to take the kidies to the park. Don't let your child be the next victim.

If your enemy is...

2006-09-13T13:25:00.000-05:00

"Welcome to life with squirrels during drought. With no available water to drink, the local squirrel population, which is considerable this year, has sought alternate sources of hydration, including the peach crop earlier this summer, several melons and even tomatoes from the garden Ã— and now the apples.

After the peach debacle, I discounted someone'’s suggestion that I provide water for the wildlife that were preying on our fruit. Earlier in the season it seemed hard to imagine that the dry conditions would continue, and I feared an open water supply would not only exacerbate the mosquito problem but encourage all manner of deer, raccoon, rabbit and squirrel to stop in for a drink."

"...if he is thirsty, give him water to drink;" Pr 25:21 In this case, I would think it prudent to do so. I know that verse talks about giving them food also, but they take all the food they want! It is better to give them a little bitty pool of water to drink from, and not have them eating all of your fruit. This is the only case that I can think that its ok to do this in though. And what's the sport in bagging a bunch of sick, bag of bones, squirrels anyway?

If You Can't Beat 'em, Zap 'em!!

2006-09-09T13:00:00.000-05:00

Get your very own ZAPshield! All the details coming right up.

"These cute but pesky rodents are a leading cause of unplanned outages.

They chew through power lines, fry themselves by completing electrical circuits and generally wreak havoc on power grids. Utility companies, always on the hunt for new ways to combat animals, ... what has long been a vexing problem.

If you can't beat 'em, zap 'em."

We have seen this time and time again. Squirrels causing blackouts all across this, (and other) country('s). This is one of the first steps in the human resistance, but many more must still follow.

2006-09-09T08:08:00.000-05:00

I don't know what to make of this.

How the War is Affecting the Squirrels

2006-09-06T14:41:00.000-05:00

Going Nuts.

"The state(FL) wildlife officials say they are getting numerous calls about squirrels that seem to be "going nuts," but officials say the odd behavior is actually a natural occurrence... Callers reported seeing squirrels rolling around on the ground and jumping in the air. Many say it looks like the animal have gone crazy."

It turns out that we are not the only ones that are having stress issues about this war. They may be playing games now, but the time will come when they will wake up from this "Going Nuts Play Time" and you know soldiers fight harder after having been on leave.

Plam Boy, we will miss you and ask you to stop by as often as you can to lend advice on the newest techniques to fight back against the squirrels at large.

Yes, I will be taking charge in PB's absence. But that does not mean that we can relax the attacks, the counter strikes. Not At All! We must take charge. Let your first kill this week be in remembrance of the great leader who started this all, Plam Boy. On wards and up wards! Stay strong, and don't give up anymore ground (or trees) to the vermin!!

Squirrel kamakazies, Palm Boy resigns

2006-09-05T17:33:00.000-05:00

Story: "A squirrel scampered into the bicycle wheel of an unlucky Finnish opera singer, causing him to fall, knock himself out and break his nose just ahead of the world premiere of a new opera.

Esa Ruuttunen was pedalling his way to the Helsinki Opera House last month when the squirrel ran into his spokes.

The singer ended up concussed and in a local hospital, rather than at his rehearsals for the Finnish opera Kaarmeen hetki (Hour of the Serpent), which opens on September 15.

"He is not yet singing in rehearsals, but thinks he will be able to perform at the world premiere," Finnish National Opera spokeswoman Heidi Almi told Reuters.

The squirrel died in the accident."

This story works out great in so many ways. The squirrel accomplished his mission, which was apparently to defend his turf against the mind numbing effects of the opera, and the opera biker dude took the squirrel out, all the while enriching the local medical economy with a quick visit to the hospital. But, the show much go on, and with the succsesful killing of a squirell under its belt, I do believe this show may become a succes.

In other news, Palm boy has been assulted by a merciless barage of paperwork, deadlines, and weekly meetings. In view of these startling developments, the leadership of When Squirrels Attack is changing into much more capable hands. Introducing Joyzey, your new fearless leader. I shall now take the spot as cheif cheerleader and occasional poster, and continue a public war on squirrels.

Some helpful tips for hunting squirrel.

2006-09-04T07:31:00.000-05:00

"To find squirrels when the season opens you need to pinpoint their food source. If you can locate hickory trees that are heavily laden with nuts, you are in great shape. Acorn-bearing oaks would be a prudent second choice. It is a bit early to judge this year’s mast crop, but both soft and hard mast look promising."

"REGULATIONS: Talk about a generous season! Squirrels can be hunted Sept. 2-Jan 31 and the daily limit is six. Next year, for the first time, there will be a June 2-23 season on select wildlife management areas. You can get the list of them in the Hunting & Trapping in Virginia booklet available at license agents."

For the rest of the story and more tips, click here.

The limit is 6 per day in VA, check with your local County Extension Agent for more information about your area.

The Meat Eating Rank of the Squirrels is Apon Us

2006-09-01T16:53:00.000-05:00

Story:
"James Pegram of North Carolina tells us in a comment about witnessing the ferocity of squirrels first-hand. He writes: 'My sister and I were astonished to witness a common gray squirrel descend from a maple tree in my front yard, attack, kill and devour a fledgling robin. He carried the baby bird back up the tree and calmly ate it all (even the feet!).

'We had never heard of a squirrel predating live prey and no one else I know has. Is this a unique event?'

Far from it, James. Look into the eyes of any squirrel, and you will see the cold, dead eyes of a killer. And while so-called 'moderate squirrels' refuse to condemn such attacks, it becomes increasingly clear that we are in a state of permanent war against the squirrels – and no amount of liberal handwringing about the need to 'understand their culture', or to appease them with nuts, will change that fact."

AMEN!!!
They are eating more then our nuts, they are now eating our birds too! We are at war with them. I know it, he knows it, WE ARE AT WAR PEOPLE! And we need not take prisoners in this one.

Suicide Squirrel Strikes

2006-08-31T10:44:00.000-05:00

Hello all. I am very honored to be part of this team in the fight against the evil squirrels of this world. I hope to bring the news right to you, to keep you aprised of the war against the squirrels. Thank you for letting me serve you.
~Joyzey

And now, on to the story...
Story:
"4,700 people were left without power for several hours in Uniontown, in central Fayette County, after a suicide squirrel took out an electricity company substation, reports the local newspaper the Herald Standard.

The squirrel jumped onto the substation off Route 119 just before noon on Tuesday. It caused an electrical arc that would have achieved temperatures of up to 10,000 degrees, and wreaked havoc in three of the substation's circuits."

Right before noon you say? Just think about all the restaurant's that this effected. Almost 5,000 people this time. That's about the minimum for these kinds(SS) of attacks.
The suicide squirrels are willing to stand 10,000 + degrees to fulfill their terrorist plots! They must be stopped. Brothers and Sisters, stand up and take up the arms of BB Guns and join us in this fight.

Squirrel Stories: A Christmas Tale

2006-08-27T13:36:00.000-05:00

The following is an Interview with a victim of tragedy, of a family tossed into chaos by events beyond their control, and of a vicious assault by the squirrel uprising.
Today we find the family happy and well, and so I caught up with a family member, Joyzey, who graciously donated copious amounts of time to this interview, to share her story with the world.

How Long ago did this incident happen? I was still just a child when this happened, but I remember it well.

Would you care to explain, briefly or in detail, how the attack took place? Well, we got 'em Christmas lights out and up in all 'em trees in the front of the house. And so in one of the trees, by the driveway, we turned the lights on to see how they looked. And it didn't come on. Daddy went up on the latter, up in the tree and found that the wire had be eaten. All the way through. Man oh man did it get everyone steamed. Went all the way through one, and half way through the next line. THEY WERE TRYING TO STOP CHRISTMAS! The nerve of the little punks! We had to unwrap the whole line, and the other one that got messed up too, and had to replace it. Now at this time, we hadn't gotten new Christmas lights since before I was born as far as I know to this day.

How did it make you and/or your family feel?
Mad. Dad was mad that his lights got messed up. Mom got really mad at them because it was only Oct., so the light would be up till after New Years. The kids were mad because the lights didn't work now.

At the time, did you suspect a squirrel assault on mankind? Not full blown, no. But trying to kill the spirit of the season, yes. So [a] small pointed attack.

Did you suspect it after the event? After, when we started to have anywhere from 20-30 squirrels in our yard 24/7, that's when we could see their plans coming together a little more.

How did the assault change your outlook on the furry vermin? I didn't like them. Some may say their cute. But in the words of Jube D. "Their just rats with blow dried tails." If it wasn't against the law where I live, I would be using them for target practice. Moving targets are always better. I think it would be fun to pop the little vermin. I would even be willing to pick up the bodes and put them in the trash cans. My father has been upset with them for at lest the last 15 years, that I have seen, with them eating the pecans out of our trees. We can't eat them if they have been chewed on and then thrown to the ground! I can't go in the back yard anymore without shoes!! But the scary part is, I haven't seen them around lately. They may have their next plan already in motion. Please pray to God that they don't hit the sewer plant that's not too far away! One of the last things a major metropolitan city needs is one of the sewer plants going off in the August heat!

Please people, don't forget this reminder that we are at war. Don't let this be just the story of another family, because it could be yours.

The Awakening

2006-08-26T15:32:00.000-05:00

Story: "... I recount the above because killer attack squirrels seem to have become a worldwide problem second only to the menace of al-Qaida. In fact, don't be surprised to see terrorists and squirrels in league with each other one day.

Earlier this month, an attack squirrel bit two boys in Winter Park, Fla., according to Orlando TV station WKMG, which broadcast no fewer than three reports on the rampaging rodents. Last year, a pack of Russian black squirrels killed a stray dog in broad daylight. "

And the stories of the assults continue, just follow the link.

Clearly, this is becoming a large problem, and we're not the only ones who recognize it.

On Squirrels and Biological Warfare.

2006-08-20T12:24:00.000-05:00

The Kamakazi Squirels are resorting to a old school medival siege technique, attacking with dying soldiers, purposely infected with a disease to contaminate the enemy.

We have to examples here, one in Palomar Mt. near San Diego with rodent plague, and another in a different area with West Nile Virus.

The Rabbid squirrels were, as of yet, thankfully unsuccessful in their attempt to wreak havoc on the local humans.

The West nile one was similarly not succesful, although only time will tell.

The Purpose of this Blog

2006-08-19T23:00:00.000-05:00

Why are we here? To stand up for humanity, and warn our fellow human beings against the impending threat of the Squirrels. You might have a few questions, so I've taken the liberty of placeing them out already.

Why now?
Because there is no time like the present. Time may be a great teacher, but it kills all students. Besides, what time do you think we have? They are gunning for Humanity, I tell you!

Why should I care?
Because the squirrels are a threat to mankind, as we will document in the coming days, weeks, months and years.

Are they really a threat?
Why yes they are.

I thought squirells were cute!
You thought wrong!

What is victory?
When the Squirrels cease and desist to make war upon mankind.

Will my participation make the world a better place for my children(to be)?
Why yes it will.
Once mankind realizes the squirrel menace, then the future is a much brighter place.

Kamkazi Squirrels take down 15,000 homes

2006-08-19T20:50:00.000-05:00

Taking a page from the Japanese book of War, the heathen Squirrels have sacrificed themselves to take down the power, for however small a time, from 15,000 fellow humans.

First, in Britian. A dastardly kamakazi nina squirrel takes down the power to 10,380 brits, nocking out power for several hours. The greater intentions of this assult are as of yet unkown.

Then, in the middle of America, Kokomo Indiana, a squirrel invaded a power station and wrecked power to 5,039 individuals and buisnesses, causing uncountable economic and personal losses.
The strategic thinking in this assult is pretty good, take out the power to places that need the light the most, the middle of the city.

They're coming for us, because we ruin their nuts and trees, build a house, and then flood their 'domain' with lights. So, they take down the lights. Its just a precursor to the mass assult on humans later, when they will have a coordnated strike.

Squirrels

2006-08-19T20:14:00.000-05:00

THEY ATTACK!!

Details at 11.